Tropic Gothic: A Goth in Hawaii
You Know You One Moke When….

You know you one moke…

…when your friend’s Honda got stolen, and the guy who stole ‘em is your cousin.


…when you talk trash…while walking in the opposite direction.

…when your self-esteem is destroyed for the rest of the day if you see one truck that’s lifted higher than yours.

…when you get three kids, all from different baby mommas, who are all related.

…when you freely use the words “Fag” and “Queer” as insults…except around your musclebound 250+ pound FeFe uncle.

…when you use your slippah as an illustration of your newborn child’s size (Credit goes to big sister for this one)

…when you have a $75 GUnit hoodie, at least one full Lil’ Wayne album on your iPod, and you call your friends “Nigga”…but you’re gonna fly off the handle if your little sister ever comes home with one popolo boyfriend.

…When you post month-by-month documentation pics of your pot plant’s growth. (You are x2 moke if you have law enforcement family on FB and do this.)

…when you shout “JAH RASTAFARI” in moments of excitement, but inquiries about your shirt with Emperor Selassie on it will result in a blank stare on your part.

…when half your fighting roosters died in matches, and the other half from being shot by your grandfather who hates being woken at 2AM.

…when your sister owns a pair of earrings that is just two Heineken caps with dangly wire run through them.

…when you have a “Slow down…this ain’t the mainland!” sticker on your bumper, but you weave like a goddamn lunatic through traffic at 85+ with your free arm almost touching the highway, screaming “SUWOOOP”

…if any of the above hit a sore spot.

…If you tie a rubba slippah to your dog’s neck fo’ it stop chewing dem
(CONTRIBUTE YOUR OWN, PEOPLE)

I got this from my friend Riley Silva who I swear has serious moke moments. But hey, I like lifted trucks too so can’t deny all of it

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